


The Lady and the Wolf

by velaris28



Category: Green Creek Series - T.J. Klune
Genre: F/M, Gay Male Character, Green Creek, Love, Mating Bond, Wolf Pack, female/male - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velaris28/pseuds/velaris28
Summary: After their Alpha's death, their new Alpha decides to chase after his Father's killer. Lee has to say good-bye to her boyfriend, Carter Bennett, without knownig they'll be gone for three years.
Relationships: Carter Bennet/OC, Joe Bennett/Ox Matheson, Kelly Bennett/Robbie Fontaine, Mark Bennett/Robbie Fontaine/Gordo Livingstone
Kudos: 2





	1. The Lady and the Wolf

**Author's Note:**

> THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM WOLFSONG, so if you haven't reached this part on the book, I strongly recommend you to come after you've read it.

When Ox leaves the room, the sun is already gone and he’s covered by so much burning red, and I thought he’d punch his way out of the office if anyone tried to stop him. No one does, thank God. The room has fallen silent, Joe was is still, his hands pressed against his mouth and lost on whatever he was thinking. Worried, I see Elizabeth pressing her own hand over his shoulder, then there is movement and Gordo also leaves the room, probably heading to find Ox. I just hope his encounter doesn’t includes Ox’s burning rage and his fits. 

I clear my throat. “I’ll be downstairs,” I say, sighing. It has been a very long day, and after this, I can already tell how things will change. Again. And I don’t want it, I don’t want things to change. Everything has already changed, and I hate it and I don’t want it, and I want our normal live back. 

Joe nods. I can tell he’s anywhere but here, so I keep my mouth shut and head for the way out. 

I try my best not to look over my shoulder, knowing Carter's eyes are fixed on me. I have no idea of what I would do if I see him right now. I am pissed off, I am hurt and I am confused, and if he comes anywhere near me, I really have no clue of what I’d do. I might slap him, might kick him in the balls, or freaking hug him because I also want Carter close to me, close enough to hold him, to touch him. 

Therefore, I don’t and so, I keep my eyes straight forward and force myself to walk. I come to a halt once I reach the living room and, suddenly, I feel suffocated. 

There used to be so much noise inside this house, so much movement, but now it’s all way too quiet to handle. Before, everything was so green, and no matter where I’d look, I would only find happy faces. Mark would be sitting on the sofa with a beer on his hand, smiling his secret smile at Joe; Maggi and Elizabeth would be on the kitchen, cooking and chatting with a glass of wine; Ox would be outside, walking through the woods with Thomas; Kelly and Carter would also be outside, and sweet Kelly would try to catch his brother’s attention when I go to read a book under a tree. I’d try to hide my grin because I like teasing Carter Bennet, and this was my favorite way to. 

We were happy back then. Whole. 

But now everything is blue, blue, blue, and I can’t stand it. 

Breathing heavily, I head to the porch and sit on the floor, hanging my head between my knees. Part of me wants to go, probably play some violin since it’s been a while from the last time I played, but that means I’d need Joe’s approval and some escorting to the studio, and since I want to be left alone that is off the list. I get that we need to keep an eye on each other now, I really do, but my thoughts are still spinning and they’re not going to stop, and I want some time alone. It’s all I’m asking. For now, at least. 

I sense Carter approaching before he finds a spot next to me. He hears me huffing on his arrival, but says nothing as he sits by my side. 

As always, I feel out of breath. Carter Bennet is breathtaking, and always has been. Although he’s stupid and arrogant, he takes my breath away, my hands sweat and my heart forgets how to beat correctly. But then, there is this sharp pain on my chest when I remember he is leaving – leaving me, and now I don’t want anything to do with him. I only come to my senses when I feel our shoulders slightly brushing, the warmth of his body tickling on my own skin, and a chill goes down my spine. 

“You are leaving,” I whisper, hating myself for the tremble of my voice. 

Carter’s hands turn into fits, his knuckles whited. “Yes,” he murmurs, “I am going.”

He’s pissed. Furious, almost. 

I don’t care.

“You’re leaving the pack…”

“Yeah…”

“… And you’re leaving me,” I growl, unable to hold my tremors. I can’t get enough air, the pain on my chest is breaking me. 

Carter’s stare burns and I do my best not to cry, but apparently the universe likes me making a fool of myself, because when Carter’s thumb brushes my cheek and wipes a tear I had no idea that had fallen, my body reacts to his touch and a whimper slips from my mouth. “I have no choice,” he whispers and presses his forehead against my temple, his breath caressing the zone in between my neck and shoulder. 

“There is always a choice, Carter.”

“And Joe is my Alpha, Lee.”

I close my eyes. 

I know that. Of course I know that. And I hate it because I know there’s nothing I can do or say that will change his mind. Joe is his Alpha, he asked for his help and Carter had to say yes, not because Joe is his little brother and he loves him, but because Carter is Joe’s Second. Wherever Joe goes, Carter goes, and that is just how it is.

I move my head to look over at him and I find Carter’s blue eyes staring back at me immediately, watching me with such appreciation that it makes my heart ache and my eyes watered again. I hug him then. I hug him so tight that I dig my nails in him, holding onto him as if I’m dying. Which I am. I do feel like dying. He’s going away and I don’t know when he’s coming back, and I don’t want it. I want him with me. I want to stretch my hand and know he’ll be there to grab it because he will always be by my side. 

I’m crying now, and Carter lets me and says – no, he promises he’ll try to come back as soon as possible. That no matter what, no matter how many times he’ll have to fight Joe, he will return home. Return to me. I laugh between my whining and tell him he can’t do that because Joe is Alpha and he can order him to shut the hell up. He does it all the time, I tell him. Carter giggles softly… and cries, wetting my jacket. His jacket. 

My heart shatters at that, at the way he breaks on my arms, so I assure him that we’ll be alright. That I’ll be alright. I’m going to miss you, I whisper in his ear. I will miss you every day and my chest will ache when I remember you’re not here. I’ll sleep on your room, I’ll wear your t-shirts to smell like you and I'll play Mortal Combat every afternoon for you. And I won’t let Elizabeth alone, and I’ll be keeping an eye on Mark, and I'll take care of Ox because we are pack and you’re all my family. You are my only family, Carter Bennett, and without you I am nothing, you hear me? Nothing. So you come back, am I clear? I don’t fucking care how or when, but you come back, and if anyone hurts you I swear to God not even the sun will stop me, do you understand? You are mine. 

Carter gasps. “Say it again,” he says with rush, slipping away just to look at me in the eye. His hands hold my cheeks. “Say it again, Lee,” he pleads, “Please. Please.”

My throat feels dry. “You are mine,” I say, and although I’m whispering, my voice is strong. I look at Carter, at his beautiful blue-eyes, at his blonde hair, his lips and cheeks, then back at his eyes. I can hear the song in head, his song, and it’s all matematemate and iloveyoyiloveyouiloveyou and ohmygodiloveyou. 

I smile at him. Carter’s shaking. “You are mine, Carter Bennet. You are my wolf and I am your mate and you belong to me, me, me—"

Carter’s mouth swallows the sound of my voice, and when I feel his lips on mine, I finally feel able to breath, and it’s all green, green, green. My hands shake violently, but I hold onto to him with everything I have and his hand flies to the back of head to press himself more against my lips, deepening the kiss. I open my mouth for him and, holy fuck, I’m vibrating and all I want is more, more, more of him, and I feel like I’m not getting enough and, damn it, I’m losing my shit. I rip his hands off me and I peel off his mouth from mine, Carter groans and his eyes flashes orange, but I don’t give him time to think as I sit on his lap and press my mouth against his.

That night Carter and I stop being Lee and Carter, and in between the sheets we become one. He digs his fangs into my neck and marks me, and Carter tastes my blood and calls me his mate. And then my own instincts strike. At the end, while Carter and I sleep tangled together, the scratches I left on his back heal and his neck is marked by my hickeys. Since I am human, I cannot mark him with a bite that lasts and scars, but that does not mean Carter Bennet is leaving these four walls without something that makes him look mine. 

When dawn rises, I cry again. 

I beg him not to go, to not leave me, and Carter whispers he loves me and how much he adores my scent. It’s all autumn and hot Choco and books and I love it, he tells me. I kiss him all over his face then trace the shape of his jaw with my fingers, then his lips and his neck. I tell him I love him as well. 

When I join Elizabeth at the porch, I hug Joe, Kelly and Gordo, and I say take care of each other and watch each other’s backs, ok? They all nod. Then Joe takes my hand and makes me look at his eyes, and with that Kelly and Gordo step away. 

Joe’s eyes flashes red. “Take care of him,” he says, voice steady, but ordering me anyways. 

I know what he means. 

Ox. 

I nod and put my other hand over his. “Always, Joe. Always,” I assure him.

Then I am holding his face, my own inches away from his. “He comes home,” I say, making my own demands. Joe looks surprised, but nods firmly.

“He will,” he promises me, “We all will.”

Good.

When I join Elizabeth again, we hug. We hold each other and watch them go. I know this hurts her, her sons are leaving the one and only place where they will always be save. 

Home. They are leaving their home and their pack. 

“They’re going to be okay,” I tell her, “They have to.”

Elizabeth says nothing but presses me harder and hides under my hair. 

They will be fine. 

They have to. 

***

When we head back inside the house, Elizabeth Bennett is back in her wolf form. We go into Joe’s room, where we find Mark standing next to the window, his eyes teary, just like Elizabeth’s and my own. Then I look over at the bed and my heart aches at the sight of a sleeping Ox, unaware of Joe’s parting. I feel a soft push and Elizabeth drags me towards the bed by the hand, her fangs never hurting me, and then she, Mark –who also turned into his wolf– and I curl up against Ox, my forehead pressed against his back. 

I fall asleep the second I close my eyes. 

I dream of running wolves. 

***

Carter calls at night. I don’t tell him I’ve been in his room all day; he already knows. When he asks about the others, I don’t tell him how they are because he knows, too. He stops talking, then, and I listen to his breathing until I fall asleep again. 

***

A week goes by and I don’t play anymore. I tried to find the way to, but music and melodies just stopped being meaningful to me. The violin stays in its suitcase and when I can’t stand the sight of it, I put it under Carter’s bed. I haven’t told him I stopped playing. 

Elizabeth hasn’t left her wolf form. Mark said that, as a wolf, it’s easier to handle grief, and I envy her for it. I can’t do what she does, and when Carter doesn’t texts me or calls, I cry myself to sleep because I miss him so fucking much, and I want Thomas to come back and I beg for our lives to go back in time. But my pleads are never heard, and in return I get Elizabeth’s sad eyes watching me while I cook and wash our clothes and keep the house clean. I sleep with her when I need to be holding something when I go to bed.

Ox gets nightmares. 

I found out one night when I couldn’t really sleep and found myself talking to my reflection in the mirror, mumbling about how fucking mad I was at Carter Bennett. Sometimes Ox would tell about his dream, and other times he’d say he forgot it already. I don’t push him, and when he can’t go back to sleep, we sit next to each other over the bed with our backs against the wall, my head on his shoulder and his own over mine, and with our fingers tangled together we watch the moon in the dark. 

I was with him they day he told Chris, Tanner and Rico the truth. 

The boys from the shop had found Gordo’s letter to them, and after reading it they were so confused and pissed off. I really couldn’t blame them. Then, Ox saved them from eating themselves up by wondering why Gordo left them without actually telling them face-to-face. I don’t fight him and let him explain to them about the Bennett’s and werewolves and magic and full moons. He wasn’t making a mistake, the boys earned the trust, and so I supported Ox all the way. 

When they ask us if we are wolves, too, they end very disappointed when Ox and I tell them we’re not. 

Chris says, “Bullshit.”

Tanner says, “What a waste.”

Rico says, “Get the fuck outta here.”

Mark announced Thomas’s death through the newspaper, shared no details about it and asked for privacy. Condolences were sent and the house was filled by so many flowers. So. Fucking. Many. My noise couldn’t stand it, and when Carter found out he wouldn’t stop laughing. But I didn’t tell him that Mark spoke less each day, and when he actually did, it’d be a blurring thing. I really didn’t know how to make him feel better, so I would just be around him, walk with him and smile whenever I could. I’m here, I’d tell him. When you’re ready, I am here. Mark would kiss my cheek or, if he was a wolf, press his nose on my hand and huff. 

The nights I’d be on my own, when everyone was sound asleep and the house was silent, I panic. 

Breathing would be so hard; my hands wounldn't stop fucking shaking and everything would feel like crumbling down on me. I would see Thomas, and he'd say that I am one of them now, but when I stretch my hand to touch his face, Thomas would puke blood and I would just watch him drown on it. Richard Collins would kill my pack right in front of me and then would leave me there, with the pieces of their bodies all around me, blood –so much blood– staining the snow. I would hear Maggie Matheson screaming as her son holds Joe’s dead body in his arms, his little tornado silented forever. And then I’m knockout; relief covers me whole and everything is black, black, back. 

When I awake, I don’t remember where I am. 

I'd get so scared, I would cry and rip the sheets off the bed, but there are strings - strings that shine and this warming feeling in my chest. And then they appear, Ox and Elizabeth and Mark. They never left, I realize. They’ve always been here, trying to calm me down, trying to stop me from hurting myself, from scratching my own neck and chest when breathing would be so hard. Elizabeth links my wounds while my back is pressed against Mark’s own chest, nose pressed on my shoulder as Ox wipes away my tears and whispers you’re okay and you’re with us and stop, stop, stop doing that because it’s hurting us. 

I can’t stop shaking. “I’m sorry,” I cry, my eyes swollen and burning. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, oh my god—”

Ox leans to kiss my forehead. “Hush, sister,” he says and presses his own forehead against mine. “Just breath with me, Lee. Breath.”

Breath.

Breath.

Breath.

***

Rico, Tanner and Chris started to become pack. 

Once they knew about everything, they started to show up at house at the end of the lane. They would bring beers and be a little unsure about us, especially with Elizabeth Bennett still as a wolf. They boys freaked the fuck out the first and, men, I enjoyed every single bit of it. But yes, they’re becoming pack somehow, their strings are starting to form and I can feel them just like the others. When I asked Elizabeth about it, she just looked at me as if I was stupid. I told her I wasn’t. She huffed and literally rolled her eyes at me. 

Fucking werewolves. 

Then something happened. 

Five weeks after Carter left, there is a knock on the door. 

Mark and Elizabeth stiffened seconds before it, and then there was a toc, toc, toc at the entrance. We all froze. Then, we move; Mark half-shifts and peeks through the window, Elizabeth growls at the door and Ox grabs his crowbar while I lift my bow and point an arrow from where I am on the kitchen. Before Ox opens the door, he looks over at us, sees me nodding at him, then takes a deep breath, as if preparing for the attack. We all are. 

Then the door flies open, but the blow never comes. 

There is a man there. Black hair, glasses on and a bag hanging on his back. 

“Wolf,” Ox says.

“Ox,” the man replies. “I come in peace and bring great news. I’m Robbie Fontaine, and you may have known my predecessor, Osmond.”

Elizabeth groans at him. 

“You better watch it, wolf,” I tell him, voice calm and deadly smooth. “On this house we don’t speak of the devil.”

We soon find out Robbie comes on behalf of Michelle Hughes, an Alpha who temporarily took Thomas’s place as the Alpha of All until Joe claims it. Robbie comes to speak with him, but when he figures our Alpha isn’t here and tries to find out why, Ox snarls at him. 

“That is none of your business,” he groans. 

And then we all feel it. Three points light up and we know they’re coming, coming, coming to us. Here; it’s all green, green relief here in my chest. And when Tanner, Rico and Chris arrive, they rush through the door and each of them are holding a tool from the shop. 

Rico raises his hammer. “Who do we have to kill?” he gasps, out of breath. 

I smile.

I look over at Ox, and he finds not just me, but both Mark and Elizabeth staring as well. He’s confused, but Mark is smiling his secret smile and Elizabeth waves her tails at him, and I am just happy. Happy because they felt us, they felt our anger and our sudden gathered strength to fight for what belongs to us. They felt it, and now the strings, those strings that were so thin and fragile at the beginning, are becoming stronger, so much stronger than before. 

Robbie also stars to become pack. 

He stays because he was tasked to keep an eye on us - Alpha Hughes’s orders. His string also started to tangle with our own. It was a slow and confusing process, but it was happening and it was starting to have a shape, and it was amazing. Robbie’s amazing. And extremely adorable. He wears these glasses that he really doesn’t need, but he wears them anyway and it somehow suits him, and when he goes for a run, he takes them off and holds them as if he's holding a baby bird in his hands instead of some glasses. 

It’s adorable, goddamn it.

***

Ox says, “It is time to be a pack again.”

It’s been six months, my post traumatic stress is far from being over and everything is still blue, blue, blue. The only thing that keeps me from losing my mind is Carter Bennett. As always. 

When he calls and I hear his voice, the world doesn’t seem so bad. I forget the past and I only have him, my crazy boyfriend. I tell him about the games I’ve been playing, about the work at the music shop and about some books. He listens to me, says he loves my voice and then giggles because I forgot how to fucking speak. When we’re texting, messages are short but meaningful. We make emoji competitions and see if we can guess what message the emojis tell. I always laugh because Carter is stupid and complains for losing, whining like a child. Then I remember he is a freaking child and everything is well, afterwards. 

But when we are not texting or calling, the world is just way too big for me. I hide in his room, leave only to cook for everybody, then go back to the room, to his clothes and his bed. To his scent. To him. And then I am suffocated, not having Carter with me makes me lose control and I don’t really know how to tell reality from imagination. Sometimes I’m sure I can see him, but when I touch him, there’s nothing there. 

It breaks me. 

So when Ox says it is finally time to be again, I go screaming for his help. I accept it. I admit I’m depressed and that I have PTSD, and Ox is there for me to hold my hand when I’m panicking. He is there, just like Mark and Elizabeth, and Rico, Tanner and Chris, and Robbie. They are all there when I go to pull the suitcase out of Carter’s bed. I fix the violin and I lead them outside, to the yard and through the woods. 

To the clearing. 

And then I play. 

I play a song about wolves, about pain and love, about family, happiness and loyalty. They all hear my song and its melodies with their eyes closed. And when I break apart again and for the last time, when the song comes to an end, they hold me as I cry because finally - finally, I see green, green, green. 

Finally, I hear packpackpack. 

***

Carter messages me one night. 

< I’m sorry, Lee. I love you. >

I frown, “What…?” I mumble, staring down at the phone. 

I write him back, but the messages can’t be sent. I call him then, but there’s a beep and a robotic voice says, “Sorry, the phone you’ve reached is no longer in service.”

I call again. I call, and I call, and I call. The voice comes back again, and again, and again. 

Weeks later, I realize it’s been a year since he left.

***

Something else happened. 

War. 

***

Omegas kidnapped Jessie, Chris’s younger sister. Ox dated her years ago. 

I was on my room when I heard it – Carter’s room, actually. Elizabeth’s howl echoes in the air and, oh, all I see is red, red, red. I jump out of bed, Mark rushes inside the room while I’m grabbing my bow and a set of arrows. We run outside and find Ox and Elizabeth. She had shifted back into her human form months ago, when Ox finally told us it was time to be a pack again. Now he’s calling the boys and tells us an Omega called him through Jessie’s phone, saying that he found her because she had our scent on her, and that it’s either Ox or Jessie’s dead body. 

Yeah, I think the fuck not. 

Once we’re all together, Ox promises Chris that we’re getting her back, then gives him a silver dagger. Tanner and Rico grabbed the guns full with silver bullets. 

We meet them at the bridge, where the wards end. They can’t get through, they are not pack and they are not from here, therefore, Gordo’s wards hold them out. 

Ox’s the one doing the talking. He warns them, but the Omegas don’t listen, their violet eyes glimmering in the dark. Ox asks for their names, but they laugh at him, calling him human scum. They goad him, try to upset him, to unleash his rage. But Ox waits. He breaths and he waits, just like Thomas taught him. 

Ox says, “I will ask you one more time.”

I am vibrating. 

We all are. Hiding within the trees, here where the Omegas can’t sense us, I feel electrified. Adrenaline runs through me and I push my own pulse through the bonds, push towards Ox, and everything is pack and brother and love and son and friend.

“I gave you the option,” Ox says, his anger burning with my own. “To let this go. To walk away. Even crawl. But now, I don’t know any if that is even an option.”

I am with you, Ox. I am with you and I am angry, too. They left, Carter and Joe, Kelly and Gordo. They left and we stayed. We remained. Thomas is gone. Maggie is gone. I am angry, so angry, Ox. Please, don’t be afraid, okay? We are with you, and we are not leaving you. Never.

Ox says, “In a minute, there’s going to be yelling. Some screaming, maybe. Things will get confusing. Blood will run these street. And I want you to remember something for me when that happens - that all I wanted was your names.” 

They are ten Omegas. We are seven.

But they don’t know that. They don’t know we’re together, all that remains. 

When we fight, we do it together. We fight as one. 

I don’t let any Omegas near Ox; I shoot arrow after arrow and they whimper in pain. There are snarls and growls and bones cracking and blood, but we don’t stop, not until they do. Not until the one guy doing the talking is down, Elizabeth’s teeth at his throat and he’s gaging blood. I hear Ox talking to him while I check Jessie’s leg, where I saw she was limping. Her foot was swollen, but not broken. I tried to calm her down.

“Your first mistake was underestimating me and my pack,” Ox says with a smoothing voice, calm and deadly. “I may be human, but I run with wolves.”

Jessie tries to breath. “What the fuck is this?” she says, eyes wide open. “What the fuck is this, Chris?”

When I look over at Ox again, he’s speaking to the other Omegas, the ones that didn’t shift but still got wounded. None of them answered. Ox steps towards them, but they whimper and… and then they bare their throats at Ox. 

Ox halts. 

I slowly stand up, watching very carefully. 

They’re baring their necks. 

As a wolf, you only bare your throat to an Alpha. It is a sign of respect, a sign that shows that you choose she or he as your Alpha. An ackwoledgment. 

I sense Ox panicking, so I go to him. Mark and Robbie and Elizabeth as well. We touch him, the wolves rubbing their bodies against him as I caress Ox’s cheek with one hand, smiling an assuring smile and tell him it’s okay. You’re okay, Ox. They boys from the shop are also here, also sending assuring pulses through the bonds, and it’s like a beating heart with friend and home and packpackpack. 

Above all of that, Ox speaks to the Omegas. 

“You will take them from here,” he says. “You do not leave a single trace and you all go back to where you came from. If you see Richard Collins, you tell him what happened here today. And if I ever see your faces, I will not let you walk away this time.”

We don’t leave Ox’s side even after the Omegas had left. We stay with him, Mark and Robbie and Elizabeth circling around him, rubbing their bodies against his legs. I watch him watch over the others, over at Rico and Tanner picking up my missing arrows and shell casing and over at Chris kicking dirt to cover up the blood. At Jessie murmuring, demanding some goddamn fucking answers. 

Ox’s is panting now. Realizing what this means. 

“Hey, Ox,” I say, taking his face by the chin to look back at him. The wolves prowl around us. “Hey, Ox. Hi. It’s alright. No matter what, remember this is alright.”

Ox shakes his head. “I can’t be,” he tells me, “I can’t be, Lee. I’m not a wolf.”

And yet he is. He’s human and he is an Alpha.

Our Alpha. 

Elizabeth shifts back and speaks to him. Ox is the one demanding answer now, and he’s all did Thomas know, and did Joe know, and did you. Elizabeth says no, I didn’t, and yes, Thomas knew somehow, and Joe as well because you are special, Ox, so special. And he is.  
Ox really is special. 

He built us back up when we were broken, brought new members to the pack and Sunday diners returned because it’s tradition. We are strong again because of him. We are whole because of him. This strange and remarkable guy whose Dad told him he was going to get shit all his life built us from bottom to top. He found a way out of his own hole and helped us see the light again. Helped us be green, green, green.

So when Elizabeth, Mark and Robbie bare their throats at Ox, I bare mine as well. I tittle my head back and smile at him, at the pulse through us all. 

Alpha.

Alpha.

Alpha.


	2. Pack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time goes on, Lee and the pack become stronger, both wolves and humans intertwined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my personally favorite chapter, so enjoy :)

Second year goes on. 

We’re strong.

We’re okay. 

***

By the third year, Robbie finally moves in. 

He’s been living in Ox’s house, but now that he’s with us, literally living under the same rough, I never stop smiling because I have my best friend with me. We go to the mall together, we drink milkshakes at the dinner every Thursday and we count the stars at night, and Robbie makes up stories about them. He’s always marveled by Elizabeth’s sing and her bright smile when she dances while cooking, and I laugh at him when he gets stupid anytime Ox would be near. 

He also helped with my archery. Taught me how to shoot three arrows at once, how to use my bow as a weapon and how to make my attacks quieter. I became quicker, I went back into shape with trainings and knockout Elizabeth five times, which is fucking awesome. She never lets me win. And then Ox allows me to have a little with the Omegas that come looking for Richard Collings, for Osmond and for Robert Livingstone. 

It’s always a pleasure seeing them shit themselves. 

Robbie says I look scarry when I'm doing nothing but holding my bow.

“You look like you’re about to break someone’s skull with it and eat pizza at the same time," he says. 

I look over my shoulder at him, the power of the wards itching on my skin. The Omegas across from it snarled at me. 

Robbie smirks. "See? That's the look. Scares the crap out of me, woman. And I love it."

He also once told he kissed Ox.

“You what!” I choke. 

Literally. I was eating just fine and now I’m choking. 

“It was an accident!” Robbie yells, panicking. “Well, not really, I actually wanted to. But he pulled me away and then I felt like dying because oh my God, I kissed Ox and he loves Joe, and fuck me, Lee.”

I just stare at him. 

Then, “Do you want me to shoot you in the head? Death will be easier to handle.”

What Robbie actually shoots at me is his shoe. 

The day before things changed again, we are walking through the woods, both of us barefoot. 

Robbie has these certain love for the forest, for its trees and the wind that blows, the crunching sound of the leaves. His mother loved it, too. She was amazing, he tells me, his voice soft and loving, a son that was still in awe by his mother. She would sing to him before bedtime, help him read and tell him to be as quiet as a mouse. It didn’t matter to Robbie the constant fleeing away, jumping from pack to pack, running away from his psycho father. It never mattered because I had mom, he says. 

Robbie also says, “She would’ve loved you.”

I smile a little, blushing. “Really?” I ask. 

Robbie nods, fixing his glasses. “She would’ve tried to make us fall in love with each other.”

“Would I be such a bad girlfriend, Fontaine?” I shove his shoulder slightly.

“I don’t know. Ask Carter.”

“Yeah, like he’ll answer the fucking phone.”

Robbie snorts. I push him. 

I don’t tell him my chest hurts by Carter's mention.

“I never met my parents,” I say after a while. 

Robbie says nothing, waiting for me. 

I grab a dry leave, and its orange and red and brown. “Whoever they are, or were, they just put me for adoption when I was born,” I start to say, eyes fixed on the leave. “I’ve been in foster homes all my life, never having a chance to have an actual family who would keep me. Gosh, I was so jealous back then, jealous of each kid who got a forever home. Meanwhile, the parents would just send me back. One time I asked why, why they couldn’t keep me, why nobody liked me, and my social worker was just... shocked. I asked her why. She said she had no idea why I was always been sent back, that I was the perfect kid, quiet and obedient and respectful. I said thanks. She smiled at that and said, see? You’re so kind, I really don’t get it. If I could bring you home, I swear I would.”

“Then our place got caught in a fire. We lived in L.A. back then, so wildfires destroyed our place, the actual thing that was close to a home to me. We moved. We ended up here, in Green Creek, somehow. Her family moved with her, saying the children could use a colder place. Her name was Valerie and she was a great mom, and though her kids were the living representation of trouble, she loved them fiercely. And then, one day I’m at school, I'm the new girl and I got lost, and a sweet woman holding her son by the handson saw me and guide through the hallway. Her son and I were the same age, going through the same grade. His name was weird, and he was really quiet and not quite good with words. That was okay. His mom forced him to talk to me; say hi, she said. He said hey. I replied and smiled. When he saw it, he smiled, too, a tiny little thing. Then told me his name.”

Robbie’s eyes are shining, marveled. 

“His name was Oxnard Matheson, his daddy left him and said he would get shit all his life, and he was working at Gordo’s to help his mom pay the bills. I’ve in Ox’s life ever since then, and he’s been in mine since then, too. Maggie was the closest thing I had to a mother and Ox, my brother. Gordo and the boys never failed to make me laugh, and when my first boyfriend broke my heart, they went to his house and threatened him. The next day the asshole apologized and tried to go back together, but I slapped him and said fuck you, just like Rico taught me.”

When we reach the clearing, Robbie lays facing the blue sky and I lay my head on his stomach. “The day Ox met the Bennett’s and Joe was a little tornado, I swear to God I’ve never heard him talking that much before. I loved it, because those people blew up something in Ox that made him shine, somehow. It was amazing. I told him I had to meet them, too, because his friends were my friends. He said okay, but Joe is intense, Lee. I said I can handle intense. But, yeah, he was right. Joe was intense,” I laugh softly. “And then I meet his whole family and suddenly, there’s this boy, this loud and quick boy that circles me around and smells me. He says hi and I’m Carter and you’re really pretty and Kelly, look, she’s awesome, I don’t know her but she’s awesome. I thought Joe was intense, but Carter was another level. I thought he was an idiot. And I was right.”

“Carter and Kelly went to high school with us and they never left us alone, were always with us. We would joke and play around and Carter never teared his eyes off of me. One day, Ox spoke too much and told them I played violin, which made Kelly asked million questions about it, but all Carter wanted was for me to come and play for them. We have a thing, he told me, like a gathering every Sunday. It’s tradition, he added. I knew that, Ox had been going very often to those, but I didn't 'cause the Bennett’s were really odd. When I arrived, Thomas and Elizabeth and Mark were so kind with me, told me Carter couldn’t stop talking about me. Carter got all red and said that he didn’t. Joe told me he actually did. However, when I played for them, they never spoke, only listened. I've never had such an audience like them before, so focused on the melodies and what laid behind ever note, every chord. After that, things just happened on their own, I think.”

Robbie shifts at that, trying to get me to look at him. “What does that mean?” he asks. 

I shudder. “I don’t know. I think everything that happened afterwards simply happened because it had to. Ox and I got really involved with the Bennett’s, you know? We became pack. Us, two humans among werewolves. I personally didn’t bother the sudden change, to realize werewolves were real. Actually, I was excited, like Twilight kinda excited.”

“Of course you did.”

“Could you blame me? Dude, Jacob Black. That’s it.”

Robbie chuckles. 

I know Robbie wants to hear more. He knows I left a few things and kept them for myself, but even after three years I still couldn’t bring myself to talk about what being Carter Bennett’s mate feels like. It’s too personal, too private. He’s my moon, my crazy and loud and quick boy, and always has been. Even when I had no idea of what he meant to me, Carter was my everything. Still is. 

Robbie feels it. He senses my sudden change of mood, my green turning into blue, and so he moves and sits, his chest against my back, his arms around me. I curl up into a ball and hide my face on his neck, breathing him in and out. 

“I miss him,” I whisper. 

Robbie sighs. “I know.”

I just didn’t know he’ll be back the next day. 

***

I am at the music shop when I feel it, that sudden change in the air. 

An old man is paying for his new Kalimba when there’s a chill going down my spine, my skin bristles and a trembling sigh slips from my lips. The old man asks if I’m alright, looking concerned. I frown, feeling suddenly disoriented, and then I come back to my senses and force a smile. I assure him I'm feeling just fine and give him his change, but he tells me to keep it, gives me a sweet smile and leaves. I don’t even get to think about how adorable old man is because my phone is already ringing, Ox calling me. 

I answer right away. “Did you feel that?” I wonder, concerned. 

Ox says, “Yeah, we all did. Can you come to the house? Something’s heading towards it.”

I don’t need to think about it. “Yes, Ox. Yes.”

And so, I move. I tell my boss something came up back home and that I am needed, that I’ll be back for extra hours if need be. She allows me to leave and I literally run to the house at the end of the lane. I get there before than the boys, they were getting Jessie, and Elizabeth and Mark find me rushing through the door out of breath, sweaty and frantic. They tell me that whoever is coming, is heading our way, so I run to get my bow and arrows and prepare myself. 

The wards keep shifting, breaking, twisting. I try to think positive, to avoid the possibility of Robert Livingstone coming for us. Gordo’s dad has been away for quite some time, but he’s still a witch and without our own witch, I have no idea if we could beat him. I realize then that I’m being more of a pessimist rather than optimistic, so I shut the door between my worries and fears and stay focus, centered. 

When the boys get here, we meet them at the porch.

“Anything?” Ox demands as he steps out of the truck. 

“No”, I say. “No one has approached yet.”

“But they will,” Elizabeth says, staring at the trees.

We stay here, at the porch. I scan the trees, the road and the vast forest, but nothing appears. No yet. We all fall into formation, I get my arrow ready and breath in and out, slowly, calmly. I feel Ox’s pull through the bonds, the it’s okay and we’re okay and be ready, ready to fight. I frown, focused, centered, and Robbie’s hand reaches my shoulder, pressing and assuring me. I breath again, in and hold and out, I look at him and nod. Robbie nods back and turns his eyes to the front. 

Then the three wolves go tense suddenly. 

“Four of them,” Robbie growls. “They’re moving fast.”

Ox says, “Stand together. Whatever it is, we stand together—”

I hear their footsteps, that tum, tum, tum, tum as they run towards us. I see a flash of red and orange - and I froze, froze so still I think my own heart stopped beating. 

“Shut up,” I whisper. “Shut the fuck up.”

“No one’s freaking talking,” Chris hisses.

Elizabeth gasps. “Oh my God!”

Rico panics. “What is it? Is it the bad guys? Is it the—”

“No,” Mark says. “It’s not. It’s an Alpha. It’s—”

I stop listening. My ears are suddenly blocked and I can’t hear damn thing but my running blood, running so fast, so damn fast. Everything explodes, I lose control of my senses and I go dizzy by it all, by the four men who approach to us, their heads shaved. They’re dressed almost equally, with black jeans, jackets and scoffed boots. The one in the middle, the Alpha, walks tall but his red eyes seem tired, and the man to his right walks in synchrony with him, chin held up high. His other equal was at the Alpha’s left, also walking tall, and the fourth man walks from behind but remains close, his tattoos glimmering in bright colors. 

They come to a halt. There’s a distance between them and us. 

Joe.

Carter. 

Kelly.

Gordo. 

Cartercartercarter.

I don’t move. None of us does. We wait, wait for our Alpha, for orders, for instructions. I don’t even know if I should either drop the arrow or shoot. I want to, and yet I don’t. My ears are buzzing, my heart is out of control and I can’t breathe. I really, really can’t. He is here, here, here, back home, back to us, back to me. Joe kept his promise, he brought him back, brought him home - and yet, he didn’t. He didn’t because that is not my Carter, not quite. He is and he is not. He’s changed, has grown into a man now. 

Just like I grew into a woman. 

I see his eyes, his blue eyes watching me so deeply, so intensely. 

I sigh, seeing everything red, red, red anger. It’s Ox’s anger, Ox’s own rage, rage for Joe, for leaving him behind. But then there’s also my rage, my anger, my own fire burning so furiously, because Carter also left me, left me after we mated and never came back until three years later. He left me to deal with my fears alone, broken and empty inside, left me to suffocate on everything that remained of what was here, of the shattered pieces of a pack that no longer was. 

And, oh, I want to kill him for it. 

I hate him. 

Joe speaks. “I’m sorry,” he says, and I am surprised by his rough voice, deep and strong. 

The voice of an Alpha. 

Ox says, “For?”

“For whatever just made you sad.”

I know what this is. Ox told me the story so many times. 

This is their first conversation, from the day they first met. 

Ox says, “I dream. It feels like I’m awake sometimes. And then I am not.”

“You’re awake now,” Joe tells him, voice cracking. “Ox. Ox. Ox. Don’t you see, Ox?”

“See what?”

“We’re so close to each other.”

I want him to shut up. Just shut the fuck up, Joe. Please. Please stop. I want Ox to let me go, to allow me to leave, to lock myself up inside his mother’s room and never come out. 

Carter hasn’t teared his eyes off of me. I remember he never did.

He can go to fucking hell. 

I love him.

“Mom,” Joe says, eyes fixed on Ox. “Mom, you have to smell him. It’s like… I don’t even know what it’s like. I was walking in the woods to protect our territory so I could be like Dad and then it was all like…” Joe breaths. We breath with him. “And he was all standing there and he didn’t see me at first because I’m getting so good at hunting. I was like rawr and grr but then I smelled it again and it was him and it was all kaboom. I don’t even know. You gotta smell him and tell me why it’s all candy canes and pinecones, all epic and awesome.” 

I like your scent. 

My what now?

Your scent.

Is that so?

Yeah. 

What do I smell like, then?

Autumn. It’s my favorite season. And hot Choco, the one mom makes for Christmas. And books. I don’t really read, dad forces me sometimes, but I like games more. 

So I smell like autumn, hot Choco and books?

Yeah. Yes. 

That is so weird, Carter. 

No, it is not. I love it.

Joe says, “Ox.”

“Alpha,” Ox replies. 

Joe nods in salute. “Alpha,” he says, acknowledging him for who Ox is now. 

Our Alpha. 

Joe’s stare drifts away from Ox, to someone that stands next to him. To Robbie. To the hand he has over Ox’s shoulder. And Joe growls, growls something I know way too well. 

A warning. 

We all tense. 

Robbie was moving before I could grab him, stop him. He moves pasts Ox and lands in front of us, snarling and baring teeth at the others. Carter and Kelly show their own fangs and claws, circling around Joe, waiting. Waiting for Robbie to make the first blow. I don’t want that, I don’t want him to attack, but we are pack and Joe growled at us, at Ox. That’s a threat, and threats are not welcome here. 

I lift my bow and point four arrows. I see Carter’s eyes drift from Robbie to me, and I swear he looks suddenly confused, but his gaze goes back to Robbie when he snarls at Joe. I don’t want to fight him, I really don’t, but I’d do anything for Ox, for my Alpha, and if he attacks, so will I. 

“Enough,” Ox roars.

Robbie stops. Carter and Kelly as well, backing next to Joe again. 

Robbie comes back, exchanges some things with Ox, then goes back to stand behind him and next to me. Ox gives me a look when he sees I haven’t dropped the arrows, but I hold back. I don’t want to drop them. I want to shoot Carter, to tear him apart. I want to run to him, to hug him and kiss him. 

“Lee,” Ox says, his eyes still on me. 

I give in. 

I drop the arrows, but don’t release them. 

I don’t look at Carter. 

“You are here,” Ox tells to Joe. 

“I am. We are,” he says, his own eyes drifting away briefly to look at him. 

I give him a killing stare. 

“Did you do what you set out to do?” Ox asks. 

Joe doesn’t answer right away. “No, I didn’t.”

I want to laugh. Like, really bad. This is a joke.

A. Fucking. Joke.

“Why not?”

“Things change.”

“It was all for nothing, then.”

“I wouldn’t say that, Ox. Look at you.”

Ox snorts. “Yeah. Look at me.”

“Are we welcome?” Joe asks him, and I suck in a breath. 

Yes, of course you are.

No, you are not. 

“This is your home,” Ox tells him, gritting his teeth. “There’s no need to ask.”

I want to go. I want to go away, away, away, there where no one will never find me. I don’t know where that is, but I don’t care. I just want to go. I don’t want to keep listening to this. Please, Ox, let me go. Let me go, let me go, let me—

“How long can we stay?” Joe asks again. 

“As long as it takes you all to run again.”

Well. Fuck. 

The four of them look stunned. 

God bless you, Ox.

I should’ve not smiled the way I did. It was hideous thing, evil, but I did. I liked it. 

I shouldn’t have. 

Then Ox says, “You can go to them now.”  
Elizabeth and Mark rush forward, bumping against them. But they’re hugging tightly, laughing and crying and whispering. The Bennett mother kisses her sons on each cheek, while Mark brushes their shaved head to lay his scent on them. Carter and Kelly are crying, and Carter’s whining makes me wince. I see Mark going to Gordo, the both of the saying nothing, and yet everything through their eyes. 

Ox says, “Your rooms are still yours. I expect you’ll want to get some rest.”

When Ox turns and walks away, Joe’s eyes are still on him. I’m gripping my arrows and bow with such force that I fear I might break them. I don’t - I just might now, now that Carter’s eyes are on me once again. I hope my own are void, distant, never revealing what I truly feel, my anger and my longing and my hatred and my happiness. 

Fuck you. 

I love you. 

Leave. 

Don’t. Stay. 

When I turn away, Ox is waiting for me. I want to stretch my hand so he holds mine, but my ego swallows me whole and instead of that, I put the arrows back in their set and walk next to Ox holding my bow with my other hand. I keep my chin up, I walk tall and I don’t look back. 

No matter how much I want to.


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four missing members of the pack have finally returned home, but things are not back to normal just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaand here you, the last part. Hope you enjoy :)

The next day I wake up to the pack all curled up around Ox and me. 

Last night, when we finally were inside his own house, the one Maggie left for him, Joe and Carter were at the other side of the door, outside. Ox and I heard them breathing as we leaned against the wood and slide to the floor, my head falling on Ox's shoulder as his own fell over mine. Here where no one could see us I held his hand, held tight enough my knuckles turned white. Ox did the same. We stayed like that until we both fell asleep, and by the time I wake up, the pack—my pack is sound asleep around me. 

Robbie's head lays on my lap, Jessie uses my leg as a pillow while Rico, Tanner and Chris hold each other in their sleep, and Mark and Elizabeth —shifted in their wolf forms— are also touching the others. We are all somehow touching and there's these silent song inside my head, calming and soothing, and makes me want to fall asleep again, but I don't. I fight it. I blink and hold back a groan as I move my neck, feeling my muscles tensed and aching. But then there's movement next to me and I see Ox awake. 

Ox's eyes stare back at me in wonder, and I wish I could know what he's thinking about. Somehow, I always wanted to know what was going through his mind, but the only ones able to figure it out and never miss has always been his mom and... Joe Bennett, which is horribly ironic. 

I look down and find our hands still intertwined. 

I sigh. "What are you going to do?" I ask him, looking back at his brown eyes. 

Ox arches a brow. "What are you going to do?"

"I asked first."

Ox's lips twits into a small smile. "But I want to hear you first."

"Don't be a gentleman now, Matheson."

"Okay," Ox chuckles softly. Then, "They came back."

I'm not sure of what he means until his eyes drifts away from mine and in the silence of the morning, he watches the pack still sleeping. I wonder if they ever dream of running, running so fast I barely acknowledge the trees, but even then I see - no, I feel others with me. Wolves. Still my pack, but no quite.

Our past packs. Past Bennett’s.

I sigh again. "I thought they'd stay with them," I tell him, looking over at Mark and Elizabeth. 

"But they didn't. They came back. Do you know why, Lee?"

The answer shines in my head. I blink and smile slowly, drifting my gaze to Ox. "Because we are pack. They choose us."

Ox smiles, too. "Yes. Yes, they did."

I breath him in then, breath in his power, this strange and unique power that Ox has earned. 

I recall myself talking about him with Thomas years ago. By that time, I already knew of the Bennett’s secret and ever since then, my walks with Alpha Thomas were more usual. He always did that, walk by himself through the woods or with someone, always used it to give us lessons, teach us as much as he possibly could. But when I asked Thomas about it, he said that these was his land, his territory, and an Alpha will always be connected with that in which she or he belongs to.

And because of that, because of Thomas's lessons, Ox is the way he is today. He learned from the best Alpha, learned from his father, and thanks to him whatever was inside Ox that makes him so special finally found a way to shine bright. 

Smiling at him, I lay my head on his shoulder and I listen to his breathing. 

"Carter and Joe are back, too."

Ox says nothing for a while. Then, "I know."

"God, they're going to be a pain in the ass, won't they?"

Ox laughs. "Yeah, they will."

I chuckle softly, too. 

I say, "I missed him a lot."

Ox says, "Me, too."

***

I was right. The Bennett’s were always a pain in the ass, and Carter Bennet lived up for it. 

He certainly didn't like the fact that I would be around everyone else but him, that I ignored his whole existence every time he’d be near, and he definitely didn't enjoy the others making fun of him because of it. Sometimes I would find comfort in his suffering, but in the longest nights, there where insomnia would keep me awake, I'd be suffering just as much as him. 

Forgiving the others was easier. At least with Gordo and Kelly it was, for the whole entire situation with Joe was a little bit more complicated. It only took me two weeks to start speaking to Gordo again, I can't never hold a laugh when he is around, and if anyone ever needs to know who's my weakness, just call Kelly Bennett and I'll be screwed. 

I am at Gordo's delivering brownies I baked, something I don't do unless I have a day off. The boys, as always, run like children to get their snacks and I see Rico and Tanner fighting over one brownie the both choose to grab. I shake my head, but smile at them. Chris kisses my cheek and thanks me while Robbie winks, takes a bite and goes back to answering calls behind his desk. Ox watches all of us leaned against the wall, his arms folded. 

Then, from the office room Gordo steps outside, looking unsure. 

I stare at him. "Well?" I say. "You better grab some 'cause Ox always gets the final ones."

Tanner says, "Alpha privilege."

Chris says, "Why can't I get the final ones?"

Rico says, "Cause you're an ass!"

Ox shudders, the fucking idiot looking like a saint. 

Annoyed, I sigh and take the boil, stretch it to Gordo and wait. He doesn't move. 

As always, Gordo is cover in dirt and oil. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing his tattoos, and his brown eyes look back at me like a wounded puppy, which makes me roll mine. 

"Did he got hurt because of you while you all were out there?” I ask him.

Gordo shakes his head. "No," he assures me. "Anyone who tried to hurt us never stood a chance."

I nod. "Then grab a brownie, Gordo."

Gordo doesn't move. I can feel everyone's eyes on us, watching, always watching. The boys still give Gordo shit about everything he hid from them, but they couldn't stay away from him for long. Gordo's is as much of a child best friend to them as the boys are to him, and their own bonds go beyond my comprehension. They're all brothers, family, and they always have been, they've kept an eye on each other for years, did almost everything together. There's history here, one that still has no end. 

After minutes of nothing that seemed like an eternity, Gordo's right hand moves and grabs one brownie. I see him biting it and chewing. The others exhale, as if they were holding their breaths. I am still staring at Gordo. 

"Joe's your Alpha," I tell him. Gordo nods slowly. "And Ox is mine. Ours," I point to the others with my eyes. 

Gordo nods again. 

I shove his shoulder. “But you and I are okay, Gordo."

He frowns at me. "Are you sure? 'Cause you can yell at me if you want."

I smile. It isn't a pretty one. "Oh, I will, friend."

And that was that. 

My moment with Kelly Bennet is something I already expected. When we talk, we talk as we walk through the night streets of Green Creek. He came over to the shop and pretended to be interested on buying a guitar, but I already knew why he was here for, so I kept working and he kept wandering around while the minutes went by, while I attended every costumer and talked with my boss for some time before closing. But as I'm leaving, Kelly is waiting for me outside, his hands on his pockets and his blonde hair finally growing. 

I stare at him. My boss passes by, says goodbye and I say it in return, my eyes still fixed on sweet Kelly. Once she is gone, when I move, Kelly moves with me, ends beside me and walks with me. He knows we're not heading home, that we're wandering, and he says nothing about it. At least, not for a while. 

I don't, too. I only breath the wet air in, since today rained. 

"Hello, Lee," Kelly says finally. 

I try to hide a smile. "Hello, Kelly."

My connection with Kelly Bennett could be seeing like the wind to the clouds, quiet and calming and soft. More like myself, actually. My personality had to change once I met his family, once I knew of their truth and was told to be prepared for anything. And although I love fighting and how the adrenaline feels when it runs through my veins, if I could I would chose staying back instead of heading to the frontline battle. I would like to reason instead of punching my way through answers. I would like to listen before choosing whether throw someone in a dungeon, or let the person go free of crimes. 

Kelly’s like that, somehow. Not entirely, for he would cut his way through Earth’s own core if need be, but still sweet Kelly has this silent side, soothing and reassuring part that’s just impossible not to fall for. It's impossible not to love him, and sometimes I wan to take him and put him inside a cristal ball so he’d be protected from any harm. And even though he also left and I would very much like to punch him for it, the mere thought of having his quite endearment close to me makes it all go away.

It is just after a while that Kelly murmurs, “I missed you, Lee.”

So it isn’t that hard for me to admit it and reply, "Yeah, me too, Kells.”

I've missed Kelly. 

I've missed Gordo.

I’ve missed Joe. 

And I’ve missed Carter so much.

I missed a lot of things. 

***

The day Joe spoke to me, I was at the house at the end of the lane. I was at the yard, playing, for this has always been my spot. 

Here, where so many things had happened to me, my best melodies find their own way to me. My music becomes one with the life that exists in this territory, my songs are joined by every song that every single wolf has ever sang, and I just let myself be carried by it all, by the harmonies and the air and the life itself. Right here, I let myself be. Here, I forget. 

Which is why I only notice Joe Bennett watching once I am done, when I open my eyes and put the violin down. My neck tickles and I look over my shoulder to find him staring at me with his arms folded. 

Again, I am amazed by the hardness of Joe. He wasn't this way before he left. Before, Joe Bennett was still the boy who just lost his father, someone who had no idea of what to do with the new mantle that now lays over his shoulders. However, here, now, the Joe Bennett that stands in front of me is someone that has been through stuff, someone that has realized what he is, who he is, and has come to terms with it. 

Joe's a man now, not a boy. 

Joe's an Alpha. 

And so, in salute I lean my head forward, acknowledging his presence. 

Joe nods back. "May I sit with you?" he asks.

I think about it. I know I am pissed at him, I know it, but right now I am at peace. I am always at peace when I play. 

"Yes, Joe," I tell him. "You can sit with me."

Joe nods again and moves, and, God, every single step he takes is like a drum, the ground vibrates and I can feel it in my stomach, at the tip of my fingers. My skin bristles and I feel a chill go down my spine, and as Joe takes a sit in front of me across the table, I am overwhelmed by his entire whole self. I hold a breath, I am frozen in my seat and I am very aware of every single little thing around us, like the grass under my feet, the fresh air, the leaves hissing or a bird singing. 

He is an Alpha, I think to myself. He is a Bennett Alpha and he is here, on his territory. Everything that surrounds me is his, it all belongs to him.

Joe says, "I kept my promise."

I blink, coming back to reality.

I narrow my eyes. "You did," I say to him. "He's back in one piece, so, yeah, you kept your promise."

"And you kept yours," Joe nods. "Ox is okay. More than okay, I'd say."

I shudder. "I can't really take any credit for it. He's the one that choose to stand up for all of us."

"But you still took care of him, Lee. That was all I needed."

My cheeks burn. Fuck me. 

I say nothing. 

"Have you talked to him?" Joe asks me, watching me carefully. 

I arch a brow. "Have you?"

I see Joe's lips curling a little. "Touché."

We don't talk about them anymore. 

I don't tell him about Ox's nightmares, about the days he would yell at me because he was mad at everything and he needed a face to shout at. I don't tell him about Ox crying, or the days he would stay hidden inside his head, thinking, imaging. I don't tell him about the days he'd curse the Bennet's name, or the nights I'd find him holding a stone wolf, holding so tight onto it that he'd hurt his hand. 

I don't tell him we would sleep curled up together, both of us holding a almost alike stone wolf. 

These are Ox's secrets, and they aren't mine to tell. 

After a long while saying nothing, doing nothing, Joe stands. 

Curiously, I watch him move and come to my side. He sits down, doesn't moves. He stares. It burns me. My body tickles, I feel the need to move, to do something, but I have no idea what. I look away, blushing. Joe only breaths. I tap my violin, and it's tap, tap, tap, tap. Joe keeps staring. Tap, tap, tap. I stare at the forest, at the road I've walked so many times, that I've ran so many times. Tap, tap, tap. Then, I come to a halt. Slowly, I put the violin on table and move my seat to be in front of Joe, our knees slightly touching. 

He's still staring. It is a moment later that I realize Joe is analyzing me, taking me in. I lean against the chair, arms upon the arm support, seeing him watching me. 

"You've changed," Joe breaths out, finally.

"I have," I agree. "So have you, Joe."

He has, and he knows it. And now he knows I have changed, too. 

Now Joe knows I am no longer a damsel among wolves. No, he knows I've become a beast by the coldness of my eyes, by the rough scar across my left arm, by my own aura of power. With the help of my pack, I have become stronger than ever, sharper, faster. My arrow never misses now, my reflexes always on point. I took all my pain, all my anger, and built it into something I could use, shaped it into an armor that shields me now, one made out of blood and sweat and tears. 

I am a warrior, someone who protects that in which I believe in, and I believe in my pack. 

Everything I do, I do it for my pack. 

So when Joe realizes this, all of this, his mouth twists and turns into a bright smile. I see him leaning forward, grabs me by the face and pulls me softly, halts once I am only inches away. I can only see his eyes now, and I swear that ever since he came back I haven't seen them shining like they do now.

Happy. Joe is happy. 

Then, our foreheads touch. 

I gasp, "Oh."

***

I am just leaving home to go to the house at the end of the lane for Sunday diner when someone grabs me like sack of potatoes out of a sudden. 

I know who this is. 

And I am fucking pissed. 

"WHAT THE FUCK, CARTER?" I scream, kicking and shaking so he let goes.

Carter holds me harder, fingers digging on my skin. "Stop. Fucking. Moving," he says gritting his teeth.

And then he is running, running so fast that in seconds we are surrounded by trees. The moon shines above us, lights the night, and Carter just keeps running even as I try to fall off his arms. I am roaring, breathing hot, so fucking angry, holy shit. I don't think of the fact that he is holding me, that our bodies are touching, I only think of him leaving, of him cutting contact with me. I see red, red, red and, fuck, I'm going to freaking tear him apart if he doesn't let go. 

I kick, I push and shake to free my arms, growling. I hear Carter cursing under his breath, but keeps running. To where? I don't fucking know. I kick again, much harder this time, and Carter groans and moves and that is it, that's my shot. I don't give him time to think when I release my arm and elbow his back so hard Carter arches, his grip weakening. I use his body to propel me, I land on my hands and roll away.

Carter turns quickly, shocked, but I'm already running. I tackle him, we bump into a tree and Carter's reflexes strike, so my fits miss his face and my knuckles hit the trunk. His knee goes for me, but I push it back and punch his stomach, then elbow his face when he bends. I only release him so Carter could breath, take me in, and he looks at me and then spits blood. 

"All right," he says, nodding. "We fight then."

I growl, "Damn right, you fucking piece of shit."

Carter smiles at that. "Ah, there she is."

When we meet again, we are beasts. 

I bare my teeth, show nails, kicks and fits, and Carter uses his body to fight, never showing claws, fangs or glowing eyes. He's enjoying this, which only makes it worse, upsets me more, and although I know he's trying to bate me and he is winning, I can't help but finally let loose of everything I've been carrying all these years while he was gone. I let anger guide me, let it consume me, and then I become a flame, and I burn, burn, burn. I am furious, so I burn, and when we trip and Carter bumps my head against the ground and a trail of blood goes down at the side of my face, at the sight of it, he halts. Carter's eyes widen and he pants over me, out of breath, pale. 

His fingers are trembling when he touches the wound. "Lee, I—"

A roar cracks out of my throat, and then I'm the one on top of him, punching, punching, punching. I grab his face, I don't give a single damn about his bleeding nose and I scream at him. I scream with tears falling from eyes, I scream, scream, scream so loud that bats fly away. My fire hardens and freezes, turning into ice, ice that becomes glass and shatters, shatters into pieces, and then I am no longer red. I am blue, blue so deep and cold, so lonely and empty. My voice loses strength, I lose strength and become numb, weak, and finally - finally, I break apart into nothing. 

Carter moves so quickly I am barely able to realize. 

He launches forward, sitting up straight, and hugs me tightly. I can feel the tip of his claws, but they never hurt me, and he lets me cry, and cry, and cry on him, on his shoulder. I bury my face on his neck and hold him, him, him because I fear he'll vanish right in my arms. There's no distance between us, nothing separates us, our bodies are touching, but it doesn't feel enough. It is never fucking enough for me. I touch his hair, his shoulders and back, feel the muscle of his biceps, I touch him and I smell him, God, there's so much pain. So. Much. Fucking. Pain. 

He is here. 

Carter is here. 

Cartercartercater.

Yes, I am here, Carter whispers in my ear. Lee, I am here, and please stop, and holy shit, Lee, please. Lee, Lee, Lee - Lee, I am so sorry. Please, please, please stop, it hurts, goddamn it. I know, I know - no, I am not leaving you ever again. I promise - who the fuck do you think I am? I can never lie to you, Lee! Oh my God, Lee, breath, please breath! Hey, look at me, just look - I'm not going anywhere, you can let go, Lee. Please, let go, I need to see you. Please, let me see you, Lee. 

Shaking and hyperventilating, I move for him, so Carter can see me. I don't let go, my nails are on his skin, but he doesn't care, not when he looks at me. I burst into tears again when I see him crying, too, but Carter smiles, smiles big and bright and, holy shit, I can't fucking breath. Carter's hand moves to cup my cheek and I lean into the touch, sighing over the warmth, and green, green relief swallows me whole. 

"Hi, baby," Carter whispers. 

I sniff. "Hi, Carter," I whisper back, smiling. 

And he kisses me.

Finally, I think. 

Finally, I'm home.


End file.
